im supposed to sort out my pics & update yet i done none of it.
i seriously got no idea how did i spend my day rotting just like that.
its been a week since i online & 80 over mails in my inbox awaiting to clear!
well, just got back from my Tioman trip with family(: 20th - 22th oct.
with many deadly itchy swollen mozzie bites that is irritating me so much!
it was kinda bored as there isnt much activities to do and when especially so unfortuntate i had my reds too, couldnt get into e water throughout e 3 days):
but afterall i take it as a great getaway, from work & everything.
will update my cam-whoring pics & never-ending past post soon ya. hahs.
its all over, back to old square one~
e day i came back, that thursday night 2am.
i thought u would be worried that i went missing, unreachable.
i thought i was right by not telling u about my trip.
i thought e first msg received will be yours when i was back.
i thought i was strong and will be.
i thought it was easy giving up.
i thought its better for me to initiate first.
i thought we could talk things out.
i thought i will never cry over such a heartless guy.
i thought u would hold me back & never let go.
i thought u would try to salvage everything.
i thought u would never leave me.
i thought u could be trusted.
i thought u took our relationship seriously.
i thought u would at least felt a lil remorseful.
yet i got none of these, u agreed instead.
all u wanted was to be friends or with no status.
u didnt even bother to ask for or to say a explaination.
u made me felt like i was e cause of everything happened.
with no argument at all & there u left me all alone full of doubts.
u just shut me off with e msg, i can never ever figure u out.
for e last time, i was utterly disappointed & speechless.
perhaps i was too naive to even harbour such thoughts all along!
i asked myself what if i never go malaysia or did told u about it.
will things still ended up this way i wonder?
now i know what is 'easier said than done' really meant.
no matter how hard i tried, he still lingers on my mind.
i never imagine that actually how much i do misses him.
maybe we shouldnt start in e first place, so wrong.
u walk into my life & open me up with your sincerity.
yet u could end it all so easily just like that.
yes i know i might not done enough or had not been a good gf.
but what am i exactly to u, apparently i meant nothing to u at all.
am i that worthless to receive back such treatment.
had never been so helpless and deeply hurt before.
however im thankful for those happy memories we had.
perhaps its all predestined, we are not meant for each other.
when two person collide, there is only unhappiness.
unknowingly im overwhelmed with tears as im typing.
isnt i am such a loser uh, get over it jasreen!!
its so tiring, guess all i need is time.
singlehood is still e best yea(:
life still goes on~
it struck me hard that fairytales & love story doesnt happen in reality!
